Rape Response Services: 1-800-310-0000
Seeking Help
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The following is information for people seeking general
help and additional resources. For more information
please call our hotline at 1-800-310-0000
or visit our Resources & Links section below.
What Happens When I Call the Hotline?
When you reach out for support it is important to know that all of our hotline calls are first received by an answering service. Operators answering these calls are not trained advocates in crisis intervention. The operator will take down your name and telephone number and pass the information on to a trained advocate. The advocate will return your call within 15 minutes. If you call from a phone that does not receive incoming calls or you do not want to use your name or number, we offer a patch through service. The operator will put you on hold, contact an advocate, and patch the call through. Please keep in mind, this is time limited to approximately 20 minutes and the connection may be faint.
Our hotline shifts are filled with trained and caring individuals who are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. Advocates offer information, referrals and support to survivors of sexual violence, their families, friends, and concerned others, no matter when the assault occurred.
What to do if you are raped…
- Go to a safe place. Call someone you trust for emotional support.
- Do not shower. Valuable evidence of the assault remains on your body and clothes. Do not eat, drink, smoke, brush your teeth, comb your hair, shower, urinate, defecate, or douche before going to the emergency room. However, if you have already done these things, please don't let this stop you from seeking medical care. It is quite possible that there is still evidence to collect, as well as injuries that can be documented. Also, do not change clothes after the assault. Take a change of clothes with you to the emergency room. However, if you have already done so, place the clothes you were wearing during the assault in a paper bag and take them to the hospital with you.
- Seek medical attention. A doctor or nurse can check for injuries that may not be visible. Hospital staff can also treat you for possible STDs and provide medication to prevent pregnancy (Emergency Contraception). Hospital staff may also perform a rape exam to collect evidence.
- If you believe you were given a date rape drug wait to urinate until you arrive at the hospital. However, if you can't wait, collect your first urine in a clean container with a lid and take it to the emergency room or police station with you. Also, be sure to tell the emergency room personnel your symptoms and that you believe you were given a date rape drug so they can take the necessary samples.
- You might find it helpful to bring a trusted friend with you to the hospital. You can also request that an advocate from Rape Response Services be with you at the hospital. A advocate can be reached by calling the hotline yourself, or services can be accessed through any hospital in Penobscot and Piscataquis counties. The advocate’s role is to provide you with support and information.
- After your physical wounds heal, the emotional ones will probably still be there. The healing process usually takes some time. You might find it helpful to seek counseling. There are many counselors in the area who specialize in rape trauma. Rape Response Services can give you a referral based on your personal needs. Many therapists accept MaineCare or can provide services on a sliding fee scale.
Common Questions
I didn’t resist physically – does that mean it isn’t rape?
People respond to an assault in different ways. Just because you didn’t resist physically doesn’t mean it wasn’t rape — in fact, many victims make the good judgment that physical resistance would cause the attacker to become more violent. Lack of consent can be expressed (saying “no”) or it can be implied from the circumstances (for example, if you were under the statutory age of consent, or if you had a mental defect, or if you were afraid to object because the perpetrator threatened you with serious physical injury).
I used to date the person who assaulted me – does that mean it isn’t rape?
Rape can occur when the offender and the victim have a pre-existing relationship (sometimes called “date rape” or “acquaintance rape”), or even when the offender is the victim’s spouse. It does not matter whether the other person is an ex-boyfriend or a complete stranger, and it doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex in the past. If it is nonconsensual this time, it is rape. (But be aware that a few states still have limitations on when spousal rape is a crime.)
I don’t remember the assault – does that mean it isn’t rape?
Just because you don’t remember being assaulted doesn’t necessarily mean it didn’t happen and that it wasn’t rape. Memory loss can result from the ingestion of GHB and other “rape drugs” and from excessive alcohol consumption. That said, without clear memories or physical evidence, it may not be possible to pursue prosecution (call our hotline at 1-800-310-0000 or your local police department for guidance).
I was asleep or unconscious when it happened – does that mean it isn’t rape?
Rape can happen when the victim was unconscious or asleep. If you were asleep or unconscious, then you didn’t give consent. And if you didn’t give consent, then it is rape.
I was drunk or he was drunk – does that mean it isn’t rape?
Alcohol and drugs are not an excuse – or an alibi. The key question is still: did you consent or not? Regardless of whether you were drunk or sober, if the sex is nonconsensual, it is rape. However, because each state has different definitions of “nonconsensual”, please contact our hotline at 1-800-310-0000 or your local police department if you have questions about this. (If you were so drunk or drugged that you passed out and were unable to consent, it was rape. Both people must be conscious and willing participants.)
I thought “no,” but didn’t say it. Is it still rape?
It depends on the circumstances. If you didn’t say no because you were legitimately scared for your life or safety, then it may be rape. Sometimes it isn’t safe to resist, physically or verbally — for example, when someone has a knife or gun to your head, or threatens you or your family if you say anything.
If you’ve been raped or sexually assaulted, or even if you aren’t sure, contact our hotline at 1-800-310-0000 for free, confidential help, day or night.
What to do if someone you know is raped…
- Listen. Be there. Don’t be judgmental.
- Be patient. Remember, it will take your friend some time to deal with the crime.
- Help to empower your friend or family member. Sexual assault is a crime that takes away an individual’s power, it is important not to compound this experience by putting pressure on your friend or family member to do things that he or she is not ready to do yet. Ask your friend what he/she wants to do. Don't tell her/him what should be or what needs to be done. Offer your friend options and then let him or her decide.
- Let your friend know that help is available 24/7 by calling our hotline at 1-800-310-0000. In situations like these there are no quick fixes or easy answers. Listening and being supportive are more important than you may realize.
- If your friend is willing to seek medical attention or report the assault, offer to accompany him or her wherever s/he needs to go (hospital, police station, campus security, etc.)
- Remember that sexual violence hurts us all. By being a supportive friend, you are helping your friend to heal and to regain control of her/his life. Try to keep in mind that you are only human, too. You need to set your own limits. Supporting your friend may become too overwhelming, and this is okay. Try to have a back up support available when you feel you need to take a breather. Your friend may not realize how stressed you are at first, but she/he will respect you for giving yourself the space to regroup so you can better support her/him. It is very important to note that having a friend or family member who is assaulted can be a very upsetting experience. For this reason it is also important that you take care of yourself. Even if your friend and family member isn’t ready to talk to a hotline advocate, you can get support for yourself. You can also get ideas about ways to help your friend or family member through the recovery process.
Resources & Links
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Rape Response Services Hotline |
1-800-310-0000 |